I work with so many students who are spend a lot of times beating themselves up and thinking they aren't good enough. It's easy to feel inadequate, and more people often feel this way than you may think. Teenage years are a time when you are often especially self-conscious. Furthermore, social media can be fun, but it also forces us to constantly compare our lives to others. This is not a healthy way to live your life when you set such a high and unrealistic bar for yourself.
So what can you do?
First things first, you have to figure out where your worth comes from. Many people get stuck measuring their self-worth with things like how many friends they have, likes on social media, grades, athletic achievements, what classes they are in, etc. Don't get me wrong, it's great to want to do well in school and to feel good when you accomplish something you work hard for. However, this is not where your worth comes from. Your worth is much deeper than these achievements.
If I were to ask your family and friends what they valued about you, what would they tell me? They likely wouldn't say things about your grades or athletic achievements. They would tell me the deeper stuff. The stuff about what kind of person you are: caring, dependable, trustworthy, funny, a good listener, etc. Accomplishments feel good, but they don't define our worth. And experiencing disappointing events in life does not mean that you are a disappointment. Try to focus on the deeper qualities that make you YOU. Your worth is already there, it's nothing you need to keep proving over and over.
Many of us also place high priority on our appearance as a means of measuring self-esteem. And we know that so many are so hyper-critical about the way they look. It's easy to nitpick the things we don't like about our appearance and constantly tear about features we don't like or wish we could change. We need to start being better to ourselves. We need to stop looking at ourselves as a collection of body parts that we are critical of and start looking at ourselves as whole people. Take care of your body in healthy ways, but learn to love yourself and accept yourself. This becomes much easier when you surround yourself with positive people who build you up and make you feel good about yourself.
At the end of the day, many of us struggle to have positive self-esteem. If you are struggling, don't struggle alone. The worst thing you can do is bottle it up. This is one of the most common things we struggle with but also one of the hardest for people to talk about. Please consider reaching out when you need help.
And remember, chances are you are much cooler than you are giving yourself credit for.
So what can you do?
First things first, you have to figure out where your worth comes from. Many people get stuck measuring their self-worth with things like how many friends they have, likes on social media, grades, athletic achievements, what classes they are in, etc. Don't get me wrong, it's great to want to do well in school and to feel good when you accomplish something you work hard for. However, this is not where your worth comes from. Your worth is much deeper than these achievements.
If I were to ask your family and friends what they valued about you, what would they tell me? They likely wouldn't say things about your grades or athletic achievements. They would tell me the deeper stuff. The stuff about what kind of person you are: caring, dependable, trustworthy, funny, a good listener, etc. Accomplishments feel good, but they don't define our worth. And experiencing disappointing events in life does not mean that you are a disappointment. Try to focus on the deeper qualities that make you YOU. Your worth is already there, it's nothing you need to keep proving over and over.
Many of us also place high priority on our appearance as a means of measuring self-esteem. And we know that so many are so hyper-critical about the way they look. It's easy to nitpick the things we don't like about our appearance and constantly tear about features we don't like or wish we could change. We need to start being better to ourselves. We need to stop looking at ourselves as a collection of body parts that we are critical of and start looking at ourselves as whole people. Take care of your body in healthy ways, but learn to love yourself and accept yourself. This becomes much easier when you surround yourself with positive people who build you up and make you feel good about yourself.
At the end of the day, many of us struggle to have positive self-esteem. If you are struggling, don't struggle alone. The worst thing you can do is bottle it up. This is one of the most common things we struggle with but also one of the hardest for people to talk about. Please consider reaching out when you need help.
And remember, chances are you are much cooler than you are giving yourself credit for.